


i can't love you in the dark

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, I was listening to love in the dark by Adele and that song is literally about zarry okay, M/M, Pre-March 25, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:11:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5608084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"it feels like we're oceans apart<br/>    there is so much space between us <br/>        maybe we're already defeated."</p><p>______</p><p>or</p><p>the morning zayn leaves harry behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can't love you in the dark

Harry watches Zayn's silhouette move across the room. That's all he's been for a while. A shape of black against the dark blue of his windows. He smells the cigarette Zayn's lit, feels it fill up the room. 

"I loved you. For a while I think," Harry whispers, sheets around his bare shoulders making him feel trapped. Zayn's profile appears against the light, cigarette hanging from his lips. 

"Loved?" his voice asks. Harry rubs his eyes, wishing Zayn would just go. Childish part of him wishing he'd just stay. Wishing this was another life. Maybe one where he meets him in an art gallery. They're both broke. No one knows who they are. Maybe Zayn fixes his car and asks him out for coffee. Maybe Harry meets him in an aquarium under blue light and surrounded by quiet. Maybe it's different somewhere else.

Harry doesn't answer him, just sits and watches him smoke like he always does. He's seen him smoke a whole pack, disgusted and fascinated and sad all at once. Maybe there's a world, away from this one, where Harry is as good as the whole pack. He thinks about this for a while. Does he want that? Does he want to be the thing Zayn craves? The thing that stays on his breath and clings to his clothes. Does he want to be that?

"Hair looks pretty," Zayn comments from the balcony. A whole hour has passed and the sun has risen. And Zayn has made his way through half a pack. 

Harry wants to cut it as soon as the words leave his mouth. 

Instead, he pushes a long strand behind his ear and smiles softly, acting bashful instead of hostile. It's easier this way. Always easier.

Harry is still in the bed. The morning sun hasn't quite reached all the way into his bedroom yet. But he watches the way the light bounces off of Zayn's hair, pulled back in a tiny ponytail at the back of his skull. 

It isn't long until Zayn is climbing back into the bed, smelling of outside city and cigarettes. His face presses into Harry's neck and when he pulls back and looks at Harry, the grip that's perpetually on his lungs tightens further. He knows he is leaving. 

"You're so pretty," Zayn says again. Harry feels sick to his stomach. He wishes he'd stop saying that. 

"Do you love me?" 

The sun rises further. Zayn is out of the bed. He's smoked the rest of the pack.

____________


End file.
